Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Most Powerful Weapon

                Four score and seven years ago, minus four score years, my sister and I were having a dance party in our living room to the one, the only, Hannah Montana.  We were being goofy and were in no way trying to show off our mad dance moves. Well, my sister, bless her heart, was a little off beat. As we danced, I  jokingly told her, “You can’t dance!” We laughed it off and kept the party going.  

                Years later, my sister was preparing for a gymnastics recital, when asked about performing, she said she did not want to. This was a shock. My sister was and is an amazing gymnast. After talking to her more about her feelings towards her inaugural performance, she finally told us what had been bothering her. She has always been really shy, so she quietly explained, “It’s because I can’t dance.” My mom confused at this statement questioned, “Well, who told you that?” Emma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and said, “Shayna.” Hearing my name broke my heart. I immediately got defensive.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  After she reminded me about the dance party we had had years before, I felt horrible. I felt horrible for two reasons: one, for saying it, and two, for not remembering I had said it.

                To this day I could not tell you why I felt the need to say that phrase, but I said it, not realizing the effect it would have on my future best friend. To this day, she still thinks she cannot dance. She is insecure when it comes to dancing. I have seen her stand in the back trying not to be noticed when she dances, and her not dance because she does not want people to laugh.  I have seen my careless words affect her. I have tried to fix my mistake, but the damage has been done. I had no idea that those three simple words would change her life and my life so much.
                
                That experience taught me how powerful words truly are. There are millions of words that are used to communicate. We are constantly reading them, hearing them, and speaking them. With words being so common, I think we sometimes forget the power they contain. Words honestly have the capability to change lives for the better and the worse.  
                It seems so small to tell someone their hair looks nice, or that they have a nice smile, but maybe that is exactly what they need to hear. We never know the impact we can have on somebody else. Just like I did not remember what I had said to my sister, we will not remember all the words we speak, but the recipient will. I remember once hearing the words of Mark Twain. “I can live two months on a good compliment.” That saying has always stuck with me because of the truth it contains.
                Compliments have a positive effect on people. They can change the way people see themselves and others. Giving someone a compliment is not a difficult task and it does not cost any money whatsoever. A genuine compliment is the best gift we could ever give someone. We never know the affect we can have on others with just  a few words. Just like the impact I have had on my sister. Unfortunately, my words were negative, and hurt her for years. However, positive words are just as powerful. Her life could have been different if I had just taken off the ’t and said, “You can dance!” It would not have been any harder for me to say, and it would have made all the difference.



                 We must tell each other how we feel. We must say kind words, and be nice to people. It’s a hard life, and it’s a lot harder when we try to live it by ourselves. We can help each other on our journeys by just saying friendly, simple words. We can have people live months off of our good compliments. I challenge you (and myself) to give at least one good compliment a day. I know that it will change the way we see ourselves, others, and the world. 

5 comments:

  1. Let me just say that I love your writing! You have such good structure and such great things to write about. And you almost always share a compelling story. I agree with you 100%. Compliments make people feel special. Even if we don't believe the compliment, it's there in our mind, spreading. The same is with negative comments. Thank you for helping me realize that truth.

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  2. I am a firm believer that everything we say has an impact on the people around us and that negative or positive those words are powerful. People underestimate the strength of words and how they have the power to hurt others or even build them up. Your story is a perfect example of how even a little phrase that wasn’t meant as an insult at all can create an insecurity. I am noticing more that people are saying the first thing that comes to their minds without thinking about how those particular words might affect the individual being told. I love my little brother and I even catch myself saying things that can hurt him but sometimes I don’t catch them until my words have done their damage on him. Being very careful of what I am saying to others shouldn’t be very difficult at all but it has proven to be a challenge for me that I am slowly fixing with time and patience.

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  3. Most of the time we do not think before we do or say something, because we do not think that it could possibly have that big of an impact on those around us, but the fact of the matter is that it does. Sadly, the people that we usually end up hurting are the people that we would never ever want to hurt, and most of the time we leave scars with those words. Even though it is unfortunate, is a part of life, but like you said the words we use can do just as much good as bad. Thank you for sharing, you have sure given me a lot to think about.

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  4. This really hit me. Being the oldest in my family I often do say comments like that to my younger siblings, and although I know I am just kidding, it’s not always apparent to their young hearts. Even older people struggle with words, I know I do. this post really made me want think more about what I am saying to others, especially because I am a sarcastic, joking person, it’s easy for me to forget sometimes that the “just kidding” comments are sometimes taken seriously. I definitely am going to take your challenge! Thank you for sharing!

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  5. I love how you bring your stories to life! It is crazy to believe that even the slightest comments can play such a huge factor even if it's a simple, in the moment comment. I enjoyed reading this cause I let words get to me, even if not meant as said. After reading this, I believe we all take what others say into account and let it effect us, in either a good or bad way. This also made me realize that I need to be more cautious in what I say or even before I say things. Thanks for sharing this!

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